The Wrong Way to Love

The stories and the poems,
they are lies.
Love wasn't easy, they said.
To believe in them was my fault.
Tried to do what no one can.
Loved with force,
thought I could handle it.
Thought love was to be selfless.
Thought I was putting you first.
Should have listened to you.
Should have run away then.
Made you my victim, you're true.
Men who try to love, they're wrong.
Sacrifice isn't love, it's stupidity.
You don't want to be stupid.
I mistook effort for love.
And she did too, we were wrong.
I was never to give you what you wanted.
One loves what they earn, not what's free.
Seeing you smile wasn't love.
That was what I got paid with,
for doing what you wanted.
Gifts? That's buying a piece of memory,
for you to keep thinking of me.
Quick pleasures were wrong, that wasn't love
that was arrogance.
Trust wasn't love, that was blindness.
Treating you like you were above all,
wasn't love; it was weakness.
Listening to your stories, to not do it wrong,
wasn't love; it was cowardice.
I made a fool out of myself for thinking
I could ask for love with love.
No, love isn't spontaneous, it's bought.
It's bought by being strong and arrogant.
It's bought by letting them earn.
A poison you give to them,
for the good they've done.
Love is where you're wrong, I thought.
But, I know now.
Love is a weakness, it's a disease.
It makes you sick and then keeps you weak.
I don't blame you.
You tried and failed.
You didn't know the rules.
You did nothing wrong, that was your fault.
Love is to be wrong and accept it.
Love is to harm; admit it.
Thought all the stars were to be aligned,
I was wrong.
I should have never learned,
what you tried to teach.
I should have never become,
what you wanted to make.
Love is neither respect nor acceptance.
It is something else.
Love is not what we had. I'm sorry.
But, I learned some things.
Meaning love isn't love,
saying it loud - is.
Showing respect isn't love,
telling it - is.
Caring you isn't love,
saying you care - is.
Thinking of you isn't love,
saying I do - is.
I don't know what love is.
What I know is.
It is not you and I.
It was never you and I.
Letting you go,
wasn't enough love you deserved,
so, I am letting you grow.
To show that I still love you a lot,
I put you out of your misery.
Now, I see,
you're strong,
like you were, when I first saw you,
It's proved,
what love couldn't do in years,
hate did in seconds.
You are beautiful, like you were,
before I met you.
You're brave, like you were,
before I heard you.
You are lovely, like you were,
before I trapped you.
It was so easy to love you.
And I loved you wrong.