Belief System

Everyone has a belief system. A system of being confident on what is good and what is bad. or what is bad but good and what is good but is bad Also a belief of who I am and who I will be. or who I want to be Beliefs on what is necessary and what isn't. A belief of how a person should behave and how one shouldn't. These beliefs make the identity and personality of the person.

Due to multiple circumstances I have become a person that is sceptical about everything. I try to find out what would be the best way to do something instead of doing the very thing. I want the best I mean, who doesn't?. I don't want to be incorrect, I don't want to get punished, or scolded on, or face the consequences of my choices. I want the very thing that the majority would agree on so I don't get humility. I want what the person in front of me wants. I want what my loved ones want. am I forever scared?

this has caused me to not like people at all, people in general, because no one likes everyone and everyone hates someone

What if the two people I love disagree with each other and I agree with both. Can I not see both of them having valid reasons? Should one always lose in a conversation or an argument? if I know correctly, one never loses a conversation or a discussion but an argument So, if two people are arguing on their perspectives and both have valid arguments, who wins? Of course the powerful one wins.

that was a tangent, I didn't mean to not talk about beliefs

I am not sure what I believe in. And I am not sure if I want to be known with a certain tag; leftist, pessimist, anarchist, sceptic, black, racist, conservative, misogynist etc. "You can be anything you want.", "Don't care about the others." are some bullshit advises. The entire existence has a meaning only because there are observers (us) in the existence. So, if others/observers didn't matter, we would be savages.

While observers matter, every observer is different and the sum of agreement between all observers is net zero. So, even if I breaths there might be one who wants me to not be breathing at all. I don't like people for a reason

So, what is the solution? Wipe out all the observers? Wipe yourself out of existence? When everything or myself are at stake, the above advises seem like they were the better options all along. So, am I now better off being a savage? Am I only writing this because I lack discipline? Do I not know how not to think in a binary manner? I can try.

"Living" or "Dead" - "Nonexistent"
"True" or "False" - "Unknown"
"Good" or "Bad" - "With Side Effects"
"Known Knowns" or "Known Unknowns" = "Unknown Unknowns"

I believe in science because it promises the truth in a binary fashion. I believe in change because it is inevitable. But, embracing the change, I have forgotten how I can use arrogance. I have forgotten to make a point with confidence. I am never sure if the thing I said is correct or if I made a mistake. I am not sure if something I did was good because it's ripple may cause damage to someone else. Is it fine if I don't know who got hurt trying to do good. Is ignorance bliss.

Is legality sufficient or do I need to have ethics? If ethics is necessary, how much? Development of AI is a good thing, but is it worth people's creativity fading out. Banning a platform to prevent scams and frauds is a good thing but is it worth affecting the users that used the same platform for the good reasons.

everything ends with a question and I am not sure on anything, what I am sure at is that this isn't the personality I want

Mathematics isn't difficult afterall.