Dreams, Wants and Limitations
Dreaming is good, they say...
Having dreams and ambitions and goals is a good thing. Yeah! Until you dream of more things without achieving the previous dream. Then, the dreams pile up. Almost like a baggage that's pulling you back. You keep dreaming, and you keep sleeping. That's the worst loop one can fall into.
Is there a limit on what I can do? Yep! There is always a limit. What do I want? What do I afford to dream. What can I achieve with the things I already have. Have I utilized what I have to the maximum potential to achieve my goals?
The answer is no.
So, when will I do that? When will I stop being a slave of capitalism and stop wanting new things. Piling new thing up and not using them before I want another thing that will "completely rewire myself and increase my limits".
Yeah! It is in one's nature to be curious of something one doesn't have. To want the things that one doesn't own. But, what after you have it? The search will always continue for a newer better thing.
Then again, I feel like acceptance is the solution only when you just don't want to and don't have to progress.
So, what happened is that I saw a thing that's new to me. And I want the thing. And to have that thing I dream of multiple ways that might improve my life and doors it might open if I use it to the fullest. And then the limitations hit. And maybe, just maybe, that's the push I need to wake up from the sleep, and start working.
I don't know how it originated but I seem to be in a default, stereotypical, normally bad thought process if I don't have prior experience on it myself.
Like, thinking breakups only end in people parting from each other in a bad term because why part if everything was going well. And after a breakup they wouldn't see, meet, talk or "communicate" with each other, because why would they. If you didn't have a bad term during the relationship, then well there must be one so, fabricate it and believe that was the reason why it tipped. And finally hate the person that you thought you loved once. Only then a breakup is a breakup. A successful breakup.
Well that is my thought process on breakups because I really don't know what needs to happen after one. Something needs to happen right? Otherwise why is it such a hyped topic? I wonder if I'll ever get an answer to these questions. But, nowadays I seem to believe that "nothing" can happen too.
Oh! The things I bother my brain thinking about. There probably is another explanation for this heartburn.
So, I tend to think too much and do less. Everyone used to say that you should think a 1000 times before deciding to say something. That was something, I used to brag with when someone complained that I answered too slow. I never realised when the questions went from questioning the appropriateness to question myself to questioning life to contradicting myself to overthinking.
I always think of a radical approach when something doesn't work. But, I enjoy doing things from scratch. And enjoy even more when doing things from scratch feels easy. Or maybe I had a privilege of having too much free time.
Talking about dreams, wants, and limitations. And this might sound like a crybaby way to win at something. But, there came a situation when I might have to only eat vegetarian food. That was a limitation on what I enjoyed eating. But, since it was new to me, I wanted to experiment what if I actually became a vegetarian for a year and see how that does. Then I dreamt of being a better person who would know what vegetarians go through and maybe I would even gain insights on how it would affect on my health. And now I just can't stop without doing the experiment.
Let's see how much the temptations affect me. I also know that it wouldn't bother me if something had meat (was "contaminated" with meat) and I had to eat it. I just don't want to fail the experiment.
Last question. How do I get protein from now on?
I don't know, I am weird like this.